Looking Through The Rain

Looking Through The Rain

When after the crying rain
soaked us completely
then came black clouds
but no rain any more.

We walked along the meadow
we laughed out there
along the trails.
The setting sunlight
was dancing in the sky.

The trees encircled
the sunlight poured
through the cracks.

She sprightly moved along
like an angel elf
and then the sky was like
a strobe light flashing.

She looked
like a goddess
of daytime light
in blues greens and yellow.

And now there I was
pushing the lawn mower
waiting for her to let me know
what to do next.

So she wouldn't let me drop
like a rock in the night
If she did this
I knew
I'd have to break free
and get loose again.

While she was away
I had hoped
maybe we could keep our minds
and passions
straight a while.

Autumn air
chilled my weary bones
as stars stood
in the dark blue sky.
Imaginary bones creaked
in my whirling neck.

I felt shaky
and I knew
but there was
no turning back.

All those times
I forgot her words
forgot all the other people
who bugged me.
I felt like I had to
make some rearrangements.

Riding in the shadows
piling up on the pain.
Thinking about those moments
in Rome, Georgia
looking through the rain.

Standing out in that rain
angry at her badly
talking
puffing a cigarette angrily.

I walked alone that night
full Harvest Moon
at my back
with clear little stars on
a Navy blue sky.

I walked away
with Sersi and Rael
the shadows of the yard
blocking all the light.

Bats fly at night
and the planet thunders out
fate sealed us together
that night
of that we had no doubt.

Sometimes when these words
just didn't seem to
come out right.
I started feeling
my head was falling
into the night.

I wanted to try and explain
my life to her
my drunken life as a peddler
none of it is news.

Subconsciously I was worried
then Jimmy Green's Volkswagen
shattered the silent night
like a machine gun.

It roared around my curve
and I jumped in shotgun
and soon
we sat inside it
somewhat drunk
as he drew the engine to a stop.

Out of gas
out of time
we hopped out
and walked over
to Sersi's house
a couple of blocks
down the line.

I had a little time left
and if I had a horse
I could have faded off
into the night.
Take off
sail free
into the human sea.

Hiding in the shadows
piling up on the pain
Thinking about those moments
in Rome, Georgia
looking through the rain.

-Will Dockery (September 1977)